Fanfiction ☄️ Diary of Tamara Ephron
About me! June 28, sunday Before I start writing, here are some things you must know about me, Tamara! To see my brother, Dakota's blog, click here! -- Sveiki! I'm Tamara Nikolana Sibylle Aimée Jocelyne Ephron, too superior to even notice your presence; too dignified for you to comprehend. I am your queen bee - your drama queen - your worst nightmare! If I were to give you advice, it would be to not get on my bad side. To my dear friends and family, I go by 'Tamara', or simply 'Tam', but as you could barely grasp at the fallen strands of the level i'm at, you may call me 'Miss Ephron', 'Miss Tamara', or my personal favorite: 'Princess Tamara'. -- A little more on me, I was born in November 2006, my favorite colors are Tiger Orange and Maraschino Pink, some of my hobbies include modelling, sports (you would just drool if you ever saw me play badminton!), singing, shopping, and fitness. I'm also in a group with my bestest friends Kalista, Alanna, Amalia, Tamia and Lisa (and other people I will not name, because there are over 11 people) in a group we call "The Sassy Diamonds" which fits us 100%! But the thing harder than getting in is staying in. -- This is me, and as you can see I am FAR classier than any of you will ever be! I'm the most beautiful 10 year old girl to ever walk the halls of the Ephron mansion! I'm not kidding! I freaking love myself! Of couse, I am the IDEAL representation of what an Ephron should be, next to my dear equally-as-classy siblings Dakota and Romana, and my famous parents, Jasper and Lucinda Ephron. But, as I said, this diary isn't meant for me to boast about how gorgeous and beautiful I am, it's for me to give you a glimpse into the privileged life that me and my two brothers live everyday! -- Our relationship as siblings is truly on good terms. You other siblings out there fight more than a troubled child and mother would, let alone siblings! I'm the eldest at 10, while Dakota is 7, and Romana is 5 months. We're the type of people that would make everyone tremble with fear as we enter the room! So don't mess with us! You have one chance. Don't blow it, you obsessed idiots! -- Also, this is my diary, and I will speak however I want to speak, and talk about whatever/whomever I want to talk about. If you don't like it, you can go ahead and escort yourself out of here. June 29, monday I woke up this morning to a gorgeous sunrise! It was orange and was burning the dark irises in my eyes! Aside from that minor detail I woke up at 6:00am and was so bored, so I started texting my friend Kalista. After that I went to breakfast and had an egg sandwhich and cranberry juice. After that my brother and I had a photoshoot and it turned out fantastic. Mom hung up the pictures in the hallway for all guests to see. -- Okay, I just got back from a huge shopping spree with Tyler. I got a swimsuit and a hat. My swimsuit is from Prada and my hat is from Vans. Tomorrow Mom and I will go back and pick up a pair of an adorable aqua blue dress. We got home, and had lunch; I had a salad and gelato for dessert. So that was basically my day. Tomorrow my family and I are going to Fandom City for a week and we're packing now. Bye! June 30, tuesday My family and I will be flying to Fandom City for a week today. On my vacation er will be staying at the Gradenal Hotel in Fandom City Central with my family. I'm excited! THANKFULLY at a discounted rate so we didn't have to pay the full 40000 dollars. We go to Fandom City almost every year, and have stayed in every hotel but Gradenal- it's the last on our list of the strip residencies. So we're doing it big. It's expensive- but who cares? You only live once. And I'm not paying for it. -- Hello again everybody! I'm here at Lohansena Airport this afternoon waiting for my flight to Fandom City. We took a limo here, and currently, I am eating McDonald's eating my final meal before my flight at 6:00. Yesterday I ate McDonald's so I am kind of tired of it! I mean, honestly! *eye roll* There are several Rosetta Hollister fanboy weirdos swarming around me with their stupid Rosetta merch staring me down with their deep voids they call eye sockets like I'm Rosetta Hollister herself! Screw them! UGH! Right now I'm in a limo to go to my next airport, and I had a fabulous seafood dish, and Scandanavian ice vendors! -- Hey again! x So we JUST landed in Fandom City! I'm still on the plane because the braindead crew is having a delayed staff arrival to get us off of this aircraft. It's SO hot here i haven't exited and am already sweating. The plane ride was 3 and a half hours and it was so annoying this dumb soulless mouthbreather who sat in front of me backed her seat up ALL THE WAY TO MY FREAKING KNEES! So I decided to make her flight like torture by kicking her seat every 2-3 minutes. It didn't make her put her seat back up but she did fight back. She kept bumping me on her seat purposefully to get me to stop. -- I got off the plane and am writing this the next day, I met up with my uncle Robin and he took us to dinner at a restaurant called Ilahonde in Penguin Town. It was literally so expensive! I ordered lobster mezzaluna and lobster bisque and it was delicious! The hotel/casino was also gorgeous aside from the musky scents of lost dreams, cigarette buds, and hopeless futures irking out of the gambling stations! What upsetting souls! July 1, Wednesday LOL! You're in for a laugh! Today is Dakota's birthday which I am perfectly fine with. But something I'm NOT fine with, is that EVERY FUDGING YEAR, we have to go to The Noir Bistro playplace every time. I admit, their food is good. But he's above the age limit for the playplace. Grow up, Dakota! And don't bring me up the "I'm younger than you" baloney, because I have no time for your smarts. -- So, we went down to the hotel in our dark black limo, which is faster than lightning when driving. I took some time to look out the sights passing by, while having to endure Dad singing his oldie's music. When we parked, I looked at the hotel. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. It had a Calabasas mansion-like style to it, which was my favorite part. When we went to our room, it was huge! It had rare white tiles, circulated air conditioning, a walk in closet, a home theater, 6 eastern king-size matresses, and a hot tub in the bathroom! It was like a dream - oh wait, it's my everyday life. In 2 minutes I'm going to the 51st annual Fandom City Awards with my family! I'm excited! -- So, I am in my bathroom now and just applied by makeup. Here's what I'm wearing to the show: - Teal Maui Waui Slit Dress By For Love And Lemons - Jimmy Choo Turquoise Suede Slip Ons - Oversized 58mm Gucci Sunglasses (not at the show, only in the limo, of course!) - 14 Karat Swarovski Jewel Embedded Layered Necklace - M.A.C Fleshpot lipstick - M.A.C Better Than Sex mascara - BLACKBUSTER L'oreal Liner -- Okay, I'm in the limo now and I am sitting in the back with my brothers, looking as sophisticated as possible. We parked and the photographers took pictures of us, and my parents, my brothers and I signed autographs. We walked in, sat down, and the show began. -- The Fandom City Awards were an absolute blast, and I truly do feel sorry for any of you rats who missed out on the amazing spectacle! The Ephrons (my family), the Diamondsparkles and the Aitkenheads had the best outfits, obviously!! Speaking of outfits, Mine, Dakota and Romana's outfits were clearly amazing, being as one of a kind and unique as we are! July 2, Thursday Today, i'm here to share some of my most culminating of tips on how to start the best blog. This is kind of directed to my friends that have blogs. Of course, you guys are probably going "Hey, Cheyenne, why are you doing this", since i've had little to no experience making blogs, but I kid you not, I do! I have a blog myself (weretheephrons, run by my siblings and I), which is far classier and more distinguished than any of your copywritten monstrocities you call websites will ever be! -- Tip 1: PICK A FREAKING COLOR SCHEME! I am SO tired of seeing all my friends with their monochrome pink and brown lettering. What are you? A pookie who's just starting to 'explore' with color mixing!? It makes your site look like it was made by one of those suburban soccermoms who drive in mini vans and wear plum colored velvet tracksuits everywhere. Try sticking with one solid color, and progressing from there. Tip 2: USE ORIGINAL FONTS! Using the same, boring old Comic Sans gives off the essence of a 50-Something year old first grade teacher. The same goes for 'Handwritten' fonts. They make your site look absolutely sloppy and disgusting. This doesn't go for JUST my friends that just made blogs a week ago. I've seen my friends Lisa and Amalia who's blogs are almost 1 year old and they're still using fonts that should be made illegal! Tip 2: GET A GOOD SCREENSHOTTING TOOL! This is directed towards my friends that have gossip sites. Blurry screenshots are an absolute no-no with blogs, or gossip sites. Anything, for that matter. If you want your site to be progressive, you might want to try letting the viewers actually see your screenshots or pictures of you, instead of seeing peach and yellow blobs of mush. I hope you enjoyed reading my most wonderful tips on how to start/continue a really great blog!! I have to go now, we're going to the beach. X O X O Tamara July 3, Friday Hey guys! We're at the beach restaurant right now, and welcome, to Fashion Fiasco. Before we begin, i'm warning: any hate or complaint comments will be ignored, is it really worth your time criticizing my opinions, darlings? Get on your own life, toots. Let's Start! No.1 - HAVE A FREAKING CONCEPT! Whether hair, sunglasses, clothes... its important that you have clothes to work with the base, as it arbitrates which colors you will use throughout the outfit. No.2 - MATCH! '''I imagine you cluless baboons just put on random clothes and claim it as an outfit! I don't think so, honey! All things must have color partners for your outfit to work. '''No.3 - HAVE NO MORE THAN THREE COLORS IN YOUR OUTFIT (Not Including The Actual Hair). It causes the outfit to look extremely horrible, We Ephrons don't tolerate that My Little Pony rainbow stuff. BARF! What are you? A MLP fan trying to look like freaking RAINBOW DASH? I don't think so, sweetie. So those were my tips! Use them cause they'll come in handy. Trust me. July 4, Saturday Oh hoh hoh, you're in for a laugh. So one of my friends, who was told to me they want their name privated, privately texted me this totally revolting url. I had NO idea what it was. Since I was totally being brilliant (and totally aware it couldve been an IP grabber) I decided to use a proxy and click it anyway. It turned out to be the ugly, NAUSEATING, and stomach churning website of "Emily Heidiline Bowelmovemènt". -- Don't worry, I know this 'Emily' in real life (She just loves to harass me, but she can't handle my comebacks). But she prefers to have others call her their "queen". It's cute, but we all know who really runs things around here. After scrolling through this whirlwind of missives, I came to the conclusion that Emily will never leave PengBlogger. She is utterly OBSESSED with it, in an unhealthy way! She still lurks at night to spy on everybody, even in the event that all of her private information was almost released to the public. -- It must take some real guts to visit back the website that literally almost exposed your entire existence to the pedophiles, adult predators, and cybercriminals of the Internet! Nice work Emily, you're honestly ALWAYS making the best decisions! I think your smartest one was to leave PengBlogger permanently! The FIRST time! But seems like you're always coming back to feed your obsessive addiction of an online blogging website. Like the four seasons in a year. Gone but will be back temporarily. So i'm guessing i'll be seeing you by spring break or sooner. I know what you're thinking.. X O X O Tamara July 5, Sunday Who are your real friends? Are you sure they would NEVER betray you? Think again. After continuous acts of backstabbing, disrespect, sass, and attempted superiority, the two rats, named Cameron and Karen, were BOOTED from The Sassy Diamonds, and into the nearest mental institution where they belong! Soon after, the nauseating beta member, Ashley, has escaped her temporary suspension from The Sassy Diamonds, into the totally-not-classy competitor, The Galaxy Girls. Ashley has proceeded to talk terribly about us, calling our deltas (Lisa, Tamia and Alanna) and alphas (me and Kalista) 'sewer rats'! I'll have you know, Ashley, that you are scum and nothing but scum. I don't regret anything I just said, because I hate you. X O X O Tamara July 6, Monday Namaskara, my flawless friends! Today we had to leave Fandom City early, and no reason was given! Meh, It was fun while it lasted.